who knows?

who knows how long i've loved you,
you know i love you still.
will I wait a lonely lifetime?
if you want me to, i will.


- the beatles

sunset

"show me the cat," he said. i had a question mark in my face then. 

"no, no it is now like a house. come on, show me where it is, quick" he said again. then i scratched my head. clueless, still confused. my mind just flashed back to now what seems like an eternity, back to when i was a kid. 

that was my childhood friend with questions for me. we were playing game. game to find shapes on clouds. shapes that we believe were of cats or houses or trees or just anything. sometimes those shapes changed quickly before our game finished. 

years gone by, in fact so many up to today, i am just back from work standing on a terrace of my room. it is one of those 'rare' days i am back from work this early. the sun is setting. there are clouds in the sky. its beautiful. then i see the 'cat shaped' cloud again. so many years after, i see my 'cat shaped cloud' again. may be this cloud did wait for me before, may be every week, but then i am too busy nowadays. i kept myself so busy... no time for sunset... no time for my childhood cloud.

i'm sorry. i can't help.

far, too far...

late, late evening here and i am still in office. it is raining outside. all i can do is to wait for this rain to stop. i am not fond of going out on rain anymore. then i feel like coming back to this blog. it feels good.

i don't know why i can't stop my mind going way back in time. this brings all those memories back to me - some good, some wonderful, some that taught harsh lessons. today is about people; those many people i met in various stage of my life. those 'kiddy' friends from class nursery, those who chased me everyday in school, those who came together for years. those days, weeks, months, years, they went on - what i didn't realize was each day bringing wave that drifted each other apart. far, far away... those very same waves also brought many new people, new friends, new smile in my way... then again the waves took them away... so slowly that you fail to realize until they get out of your life.

i wonder where these people are now. not sure where, but i know they must be somewhere. far, too far...
happy, trying to be happy, sad, trying not be sad.
far, too far...

won't you tell me the truth?

i need you to say it,
if you really want this love to end,
look me in the eye and don't pretend,
that what we have is through

so i need you to say it,
if you really want to let me go
coz i don't believe, you know i don't,
won't you tell me the truth

yes i need you to say it,
if you really want this love to end,
look me in the eye you can't pretend,
that what we have is through...


nothing..
i'm listening to enrique iglesias song 'say it' and this is one of my favourites.