the intense days

past couple of weeks have been pretty intense. few things will never be the same again in our family, i know. in other side, i think my role will be same. it is just the meaning that will be changed.

one less in family

my dad died this evening.
he lost his fight against cancer. he was 58.
i don't know what to write from here...

i know that it’s just not enough

i am listening to a beautiful westlife song home and again came across these beautiful words. thought i should make a post -

maybe surrounded by a million people i
still feel all alone, i just wanna go home
oh, i miss you, you know
and i’ve been keeping all the letters that i wrote to you
each one a line or two, “’i’m fine baby how are you?”
well, i would send them but i know that it’s just not enough
my words were cold and flat and you deserve more than that...

new york waiting - a movie to watch

new york waiting is a 2006 movie by swedish director and writer joachim hedén. cast includes christopher stewart, annie woods and katrina nelson.

i loved this movie.
there is one character, sidney, and i found part of myself reflected on him.
you will definitely take away a few things from this movie that will be with you forever.

i suggest that you take this movie home. watch alone.

may be

i had to connect with a friend. but then, you know there are a few moments when not calling seems appropriate than calling. so, i sent my friend one sms.

now i am little upset. he has not replied. why? did he ignore it? can it be? but then i thought -

may be he slept early tonight,
may be he is working late night,
may be he is not feeling well so he can't reply,
may be he is having fun somewhere he didn't care to reply,

may be my msg didn't reach him, or
may be his msg didn't reach me

may be not all questions have the answer...
may be silence is (also) the answer

may be he will reply later on...
may be he simply forgot...

so, i still wait his reply.

those unfinished things

to clean that table, to finish that class, to join the guitar tuitions, to buy that sandle... these are just a few of those many unfinished things i have.

i wonder if you too have these sort of things or it's just me?

finished reading veronika decides to die

yesterday i finished reading veronika decides to die - a 1998 novel by paulo coelho.

the story centers on veronika, a woman in her mid twenties who appears to have everything: good looks, good job and a great life ahead of her. yet she decides to end her own life. she is unsuccessful and awakens in a mental hospital where she learns that she has five days to live. the reason that she attempted suicide was that she felt so constrained by the rules and expectations of 'normal' society that she had concluded that she had experienced all that life had to offer. however in the hospital she meets people who are only 'insane' because they don't always follow society's rules. with little left to lose, veronika embarks on a journey on which she frees herself to experience relationships and emotions and ultimately discovers what it means to live.

why is that people don't realise the value of what they have unless those are gone?

dreams

Dreams are the eraser dust I blow off my page.
They fade into the emptiness, another dark gray day.
Dreams are only memories of the plans I had back then.
Dreams are eraser dust and now I use a pen.

days just pass us by

today - i say to myself. today i'll write on my blog.

but i simply can't. i'm in front of computer all the time yet i haven't wrote a single thing in my blog for ages.

days just pass us by.

a long, long bike ride

510 km on bike today. a long, long bike ride that i enjoyed a lot.

i met sunil, my school friend last week. we came up with an idea - a long bike ride on the road. we decided to go from kathmandu to kohalpur, 510km, nonstop.

we started at 3:00 in the morning - rode on the dark streets, dawn after hours, cold air, fresh smell of mud... enjoyed everything.

this photo is from daunne. we had covered more than 200km and had nearly 300km more to go.

madrid to bangkok

this one - flying just over barcelona, ahead is the mediterranean sea.
it was nearly 14 hours of flight from madrid to bangkok.

i've just landed in bangkok and it's another five hours lay off before i catch flight back home.

i didn't sleep except for just an hour on the flight so i am feeling little sluggish now.

they have nice cafe at the airport. but this keyboard is so difficult to type in, huh?

last time i stopped at this airport, sashi dai was with me but it's all alone now. he may be enjoying beer somewhere else and see i'm drowsy here.

well, another three hours before i catch flight to kathmandu again.

got my schengen visa today

just got back from the french embassy in kathmandu. i have my passport back and with schengen visa. they've been nice - gave me multiple entries.

i am going to madrid to attend fitur 2008 - a tourism trade fair from 30th jan to 03rd feb. lots of things to do yet. have to sort out flights, this, this, that, that and oh that one too!!

thinking to vist barcelona, paris, and milan too. let's see.