it ends here

i have decided to stop this blog here.
thank you.

fix you

i found this written somewhere - "we are all broken beings, made of cracks and superglue, walking around looking for the right person to fix us, and this song embodies that perfectly."

could it be? perhaps coldplay sum it up nicely.

when you try your best but you don't succeed
when you get what you want but not what you need
when you feel so tired but you can't sleep
stuck in reverse

and the tears come streaming down your face
when you lose something you can't replace
when you love someone but it goes to waste
could it be worse?

lights will guide you home
and ignite your bones
and i will try to fix you

and high up above or down below
when you're too in love to let it go
but if you never try you'll never know
just what you're worth

lights will guide you home
and ignite your bones
and i will try to fix you

tears stream down your face
when you lose something you cannot replace
tears stream down your face
and i

tears stream down your face
i promise you i will learn from my mistakes
tears stream down your face
and i

lights will guide you home
and ignite your bones
and i will try to fix you

leaves

aren't leaves beautiful? they herald spring after the harsh winter. they spark enthusiasm, they spark hope. leaves give shade. shades comfort.

some leaves are torn apart. some are blown away by wind. or storm. or they get plucked away.
yet many of them will remain. until very end.

and at last, one day, leaves fall down. flipping. slowly.
creating beautiful blanket
on the ground.
once again they bring
happiness in us.
we think autumn has arrived.
and forget the beautiful leaves.
engrossed in own delight,
we don't see
the last remaining days of those leaves.
lying on the ground.
getting kicked. getting stepped over.
because we are just busy
talking about flowers.

good music lost... and found

we don't always need big names to produce beautiful music. sadly, some wonderful music tracks go unnoticed in this busy world. but then, someday by chance, when you stumble upon any of these little known beautiful music tracks, it feels great. you think the world is little more beautiful. in 2005, tim anstead created a music group by the name - all found out. today it is known as the civil sound.

out of many brilliant tracks they have produced, the one that truly strikes me the most is more than i could say. its a kind of music i'll probably keep listening down the years. time and again. maybe forever. 

here goes the lyrics -

there's something that you're doing to me

there's something that's got me here

i'm thinking more and more about you

and i wonder if you're thinking too



but i've got no new words to say

not that it would matter any way

but i know... 
its more than i could say



its more than i could say

i'm looking for reason

to tell you what i feel

and i take a breath

i need to take my time

and i wonder if i'm on your mind



but i've got no new words to say

not that it would matter any way

but i know... its more than i could say
its more than i could say

its more than i could say... 



and i'll wait, just to find you here

just to find you here

and i'll stay, here with you awhile

here with you awhile now



and i will wait for you now, i will wait for you

just to find you here now

just to find you

 awhile

and i will stay awhile now

just to keep you close

just to have the chance to say

won't you be with me

won't you stay awhile




won't you be with me

won't you stay awhile
please stay awhile...



and i'll wait, just to find you here

just to find you here

and i'll stay, here with you awhile

here with you awhile now



i've got no new word to say

not that it would matter any way

but i know.. its more than i could say

reduced status

sometimes you feel like you became a reason of a kind of void in someone's life. the paths cross and then they drift apart. when the path is going nowhere, it is better to step down. it is be better to reduce your status - may be to just a fan.

goodbye 2012

goodbye... moon rises in kathmandu for the last time in 2012.

i don't admit it always. i may not always show it. but even when i was a small boy and even today, i feel really sad when someone or something is about to leave. i always feel like maybe i could have treated them more nicely when they were around, maybe at times i was harsh. so even if i miss out to appreciate when they are around, i don't miss to waive a final goodbye. i know this is bad. but this is how i have been for a long time. bad me.

so, goodbye 2012. and thank you so much for the memories.

autumn

the sun was beautiful this morning. I guess autumn has arrived.